Essay: “Why We’re Here.”

I am a gamer. I am alive.

I was brought into this mess when I heard about Reddit being censored. That’s right, I’m a pre-‘Gamers are Dead’ GamerGater. I happen to believe mass censorship is wrong and not allowing people to speak their mind because you happen to dislike the words coming out of their mouth shows both your lack of moral integrity and your intellectual cowardice.

“When you cut out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you are telling the world you fear what he might say.” – Tyrion Lannister

I’m really glad this is how it started for me, because, if I may tell you a secret?

I was almost on the other side.

And that still scares me. They almost had me. Had me believe that one of the most inclusive groups of people I have ever been a part of were universally despicable just because they said so. Had me suspend any scepticism towards their motives, for fear of being shunned. Had me believe that the very act of asking questions would make me evil, despite it being a value I’ve always taken pride in.

“When you gaze long into an Abyss, the Abyss gazes back into you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Fortunately, I blinked and turned away.

This was not easy, and I will have to take a serious look at everything I believe related to this matter once this is over. These scars will be with me for a long time.

But when I look back at the I would’ve taken pride in standing for with not a hint of self-awareness, all I feel is disgust. The abuse flung in our direction by the people who control the narrative and the public opinion, without realising how much their lies damage the cause they profess to champion is despicable. The future they are fighting for is already here.

Power corrupts, apparently, and when you believe yourself to be fighting for the oppressed, anything becomes permissible. Never mind that the ‘oppressed’ are telling you to piss off. That just means they don’t know any better. ‘The Social Burden’, indeed. Never mind that you are using every oppressive tactic you can come up with just to keep these so-called ‘oppressors’ down.

“The media you’re criticising says you’re a hate group, therefore, you are not allowed to criticise the media.”

I am sorry for ever being a part of that.

I am here because I am tired of having my culture shit upon. I am tired of seeing gamers being slandered as exclusive hate mongers. I am tired of the journalistic elite fostering an environment of fear within the gaming community by painting gamers as vile terrorists who will practically attack a woman on sight. I am tired of being told that I should hate and want to change a group of people I have never been more proud to be a part of.

And when it turns out that, despite all the shit-slinging, deflecting and a myriad of other examples of intellectual bullying, we turn out to have been right on nearly everything we’ve suspected? That we were lied to start to finish by people who considered themselves untouchable? That just gets me mad.

“I am not upset you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

There is no coming back from this. After all we’ve been put through, after every time we’ve been spat in the face for asking questions, I am no longer interested in compromise. I am no longer interested in peace. I am no longer interested in conversation.

Game journalism is in need of a hard reset.

You expected you could insult and abuse us and we would simply roll over and take it.

You’re about to find out how wrong you were.

I am a gamer, I am alive, and I am not going to stop.

100% completion, goddamnit.



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